Soundtrack To My Love Life
by hermione-granger09
Summary: Songfics that match my love life (or lack thereof) to that of HHr......ignore first chapter it's just a Disclaimer...Most RockPunkPop music used....RR plz!


Chapter 1...Walking On Broken Glass by Mest  
  
"Time goes by, I just try,  
  
To hold my, Head up high.  
  
People try to deny   
  
Classify, or just hide."  
  
It had been six years since I had seen him. My name is Hermione Granger and I was in love with a wonderful man. Or at least that's what I thought. His name was Harry Potter and he had been a long time childhood friend. And he's marrying someone else.  
  
Everyone thought that Ron Weasley, another friend of mine, and I would end up together. However, I am now alone on a plane back to England. I never planned on leaving, but I just couldn't stay knowing that the man of my dreams was marrying the woman of his. And it had broken my heart.   
  
I had been in Brooklyn, New York for these past six years. I had agreed to go back for Ron's wedding. I am scared-terrified- to go back. I don't want to have to go and see Harry dancing with Rosa, his wife, while I was alone.  
  
I was angry, as well. Angry at Harry for letting me leave, for not chancing after me, for not loving me. Angry at Ron for not reasurring me, for not telling me that Harry just can't classify the feeling he had for me. I was angry at my self the most, angry for leaving, for letting everyone down, for letting myself down.  
  
I am not completely alone though. Although I had no friends any longer, I am engaged. My fiancee`, David, had decided to stay behind. He knows all about my past but said that he would not fit in well, and so, here I am. Alone.  
  
"The feelings, what's inside   
  
Broken hearts, and hard times   
  
Don't let life break you down this time "  
  
I don't know exactly what happened to the 'trio,' as several people called it. Ron is working for his father, and Harry did't have to work. I had been working for the Daily Prophet, although I am now writing for the New York Post. My parents had been killed and so I had to leave. Or that's what I had told my friends. I haven't seen them since that fateful day.  
  
I had been in New York when I was diagnosed with Tuberculosis and Consumption of the lungs. I had only been dealing with this disease for a month and a half and my fiacee` has no idea what's going on. It almost looked as though I was going to die three weeks ago, but I held on. You see, the disease makes it seem as though I am just sick, until my cough turns very violent and I eventually pass out.  
  
I can feel inside that my body is breaking down. I think to myself, 'What's the good of having the strongest heart, when it's only trapped in a body that keeps falling apart.' Sometimes I believe that if God didn't hate me, he wouldn't have made me like this. Granted, I wasn't the ugly little duckling I used to be, but I'm no beauty queen. My hair is very straight and with a red sort of tint to it and my body had grown out as well. On the outside, I looked as normal as any other woman would. On the inside, however, my lungs were decaying and I had several other problems with my body.  
  
"I'm sitting here, crying here   
  
You're alone and dying   
  
There waiting for bad news   
  
Like walking on broken glass   
  
Nowhere just others ask who are all alone   
  
Cuz you know that I'd give my life for you   
  
Time can be nothing but our enemy"   
  
The doctors had told me that the only thing that would speed up this process was if I came down with any other sickness or if I was under a lot of stress. It looked as though time was taking its toll. The longer I stayed alive, the worse it got. It began as just a light coughing with some blood, then it became violent hacking....and I knew I was dying.  
  
I was sitting on the plane when I began cough again. The person beside me, a blonde man, suddenly looked over at me. He began to try and help me, but no one could help me. He was calling for help when I fainted. I hadn't been brought back to conscousness until the plane had landed. Ron and Harry had gathered around me, peering down at me. I tried to speak, but I found that I couldn't for my throat was completely dry. One of the doctors that had been examining me handed me a full glass of water and I drank it down quickly.  
  
"Where's Rosa?" I asked Harry, without a proper greeting.  
  
"Who?" He replied.  
  
"Rosa, your wife."  
  
"'Mione, I'm not married. I never have been." Since when had he been allowed to call me that name.  
  
"Oh," I replied, lamely. There seemed to be a tension that filled the air so thick you cut through it with a knife.  
  
"Hermione, what's going on with you? I mean you come back here six years later and we find out you're dying? What a lovely way to greet your best friends." Ron said, almost scolding me.  
  
"Ron, I would hardly call us friends anymore." I replied letting some of my anger out.  
  
"What are you saying?" he asked  
  
"I'm saying, that for the past six years I have been slowly wearing away, alone. When I left, no one came running after me, I had no one. But now I have David, and he doesn't even know that I'm dying. Then, I come back here only to find that everything I once knew is completely gone and I am so confused, I don't know what's real anymore. Nobody cares, because nobody knows. I am the only one, other than my doctors, that was supposed to know, because nobody cares. I don't have a family anymore, I don't have friends anymore. I only have myself, and this body of mine that is breaking down. You don't know what it's like, having to deal with this everyday."   
  
"'Mione, we would care if you would just let us. You should know that we would all die for you." Harry replied.  
  
"Don't you get it? It doesn't matter who would give their life to save me. Time will kill me anyway, so there's nothing anyone can do about it."  
  
"Don't give up just hold on   
  
Is the pain just too strong   
  
To hold on   
  
Sometimes we're wrong when we think we're right"  
  
That night, I had to be shipped out to the hospital. I had been in the shower when I began to cough. My coughing became so violent that I had hit my head off of the ceramic tiles on the wall and began to bleed. Harry had heard my coughing and the slightly loud banging noise on the wall, and came rushing into the bathroom only to find me completely naked and blood dripping off of my head.  
  
"It hurts," I whispered as I lay there in the hospital bed.  
  
"Shh, don't talk." he whispered back to me, a tear running down his face. At that sight, I burst into tears.  
  
"Please, Harry, don't cry." I whispered between sobs.  
  
"I love you, Hermione. Please, don't leave me."  
  
"You don't know what you're saying"  
  
"I love you so much it hurts. You love me, too. You know I'm right. No matter what, I'll always love you."  
  
"Please, stop. I loved you and you broke my heart. That's why I left in the first place. I loved you six years ago," I said, his face becoming glum. "And I still love you. But you don't know what you're saying. I'm in love with you, but you only think of me as a friend."  
  
"No, you're wrong,"  
  
"I'm right and you know it. Just promise me something."  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"Promise me that you will live."  
  
"I don't understand."  
  
"Live your legend, but not as The Boy Who Lived. Live it as The Man Who Lived. But then again i suppose the important thing is that you lived. Now, please, leave me to rest and on your way out, send in Ron."  
  
"But, Herm-"  
  
"Please, go."  
  
"Tonight will be the night   
  
You'll break free from this fight   
  
Dont let life break you down this time"  
  
That night Hermione died in her sleep, leaving me with just memories. After I had found this piece of writing on her computer, I knew it would be up to me to finish her story. My name is Harry Potter and my best friend is dead. I loved her like there was only her and I on this planet. She loved me and I loved her, I will always love her. It's been 4 years since that night, and I never forgot the way she looked, the way she looked at me. I loved the way she looked and smelled. I still look back on that day and remember the woman I was in love with. Her name was Hermione Granger and she was always my best, most loyal friend...until I broke her heart. I hate the way I felt after that night, but then I began to think.  
  
I thought about our days at Hogwarts and how much I loved her then. And for the first time in my life, I truly cried. Then, I realised what she had meant that night, by saying to live my life as The Man Who Lived and that it was important that I did live. I believe that what she meant, was that although I had been a man on the outside, I was still a boy in many ways. But I suppose we will never know.  
  
"I'm sitting here, crying here   
  
You're alone and dying   
  
There waiting for bad news   
  
Like walking on broken glass   
  
Nowhere just others ask you're all alone   
  
Cuz you know that I'd give my life for you   
  
Time can be nothing but our enemy   
  
I die inside from all I feel   
  
Does it have to be this way?   
  
Memories of yesterday   
  
When it all just slips away   
  
I give up everything I had to keep you one more day   
  
I know that it's not right   
  
Why do we feel this way?   
  
Why do I feel this way?"  
  
I would have given anything to see her just one more time. Just once. I know now that she wasnt hurting on the outside, but on the inside. Perhaps, she still lives. Not in my body, but in my heart and soul and in everyone she's helped. In my heart, I still love her. Why do I have to miss her, love her? I hated how it took her, how it caused her so much pain and suffering. It just is not right, the way she never got to live a full life. She was supposed to go on. Supposed to get married, to have children, and to grow old with the man she loved. I was supposed to be the one to die, and I was supposed to be the one burried six feet under ground.  
  
My name is Harry Potter, I am not married, and I'm still in love with my best friend that died four years ago, Hermione Granger. My name is Harry Potter, and I am dying of a broken heart.  
  
"I'm sitting here, crying here   
  
You're alone and dying   
  
There waiting for bad news   
  
Like walking on broken glass   
  
Nowhere just others ask you're all alone   
  
Cuz you know that I'd give my life for you   
  
Time can be nothing but our enemy"  
  
And he lived happily ever after, until the end of his days...Although there weren't many left. Harry Potter died on October 31, 2008. Four years after former best friend, Hermione Granger's death, and swenty-seven years after his parent's deaths. Harry Potter was 28 years old when he committed suicide by slashing his wrists.  
  
~So......R/R......sorry if it was shitty. I have major writers block and although it may seem to some of you that this was a seven second fan fiction, in all reality it took me 4 days to become inspired...and not to mention the fact that 3 people died in my family this year so I had to make it a bit more angsty than it should have been. I am sorry about the whole deleting 'Don't Be Afraid of Love' thing, but I'm truly not going anywhere with that anymore. My style of writing has changed so much and I believe that I need to delete that and start fresh with the same old plot but a bit different and it needs more description in it. So anyways......Good or Bad?......Flames are welcome...but it doesn't hurt to be flattered a bit every now and then. And just so you all know none of you will change my mind about deleting that piece of fiction. I need a different title for it and everything else.....I think Ill just put that thing to sleep...even if it costs me a few of my readers......thnx......~ 


End file.
